I've recently learned of the existence of a gem of a book (I'm being sarcastic here, people) called Night Travels of the Elven Vampire. Now, it came from a print-on-demand publisher and is no longer obtainable or at least very hard to find, I think, although I hear it's been rewritten and released as Eternity Of Blood. Under a different author's name, and with more sex.
Anyway, apparently this book is so bad that it makes pretty much everyone feel like a good writer. If you'd like a sample of the text and a synopsis of the very confusing plot, check out this funny review by Crevette. Since I don't have a copy of this book, there's not much else I can say. Except that based on the parts excerpted by Crevette, I think I would claw my eyeballs out.
Among other things, the original cover had an image of Orlando Bloom as Legolas with vampire fangs (totally illegal use of the image, of course). The main male character (whom the cover image is supposed to represent) is a vampire who can take wolf form and is also an elf. Oh yeah, and he smells like strawberries, writes books, and rides motorcycles.
There's also a LiveJournal devoted to the author of this piece, LaVerne Ross. Hasn't been updated in like five years, but it's sort of fun to poke around there, as well.
Anyway, sorry to anyone who was looking for new information about this book. I just thought it was funny enough to alert others to its existence, if they hadn't heard about it before. Most of the links I share here are pretty old, though still active as of the time of this writing.